We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever..
1 Thessalonians 4:9 – Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another
Psalm 37:8 - Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil.I did just that, I moved on, but I continued to hate and was angry at everything. Most of it directed towards David, my job and Stacey. I began to see the demise of my marriage, issues at work and a change in my overall character.
Proverbs 1:33 – But whoever listens to me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil.I was driving home from work one day and I felt this presence in the car with me. It was so strong, I actually looked around the passenger compartment feeling there was someone lurking inside with me. I felt this calm and heard a voice telling me it was David and he was all right. This was not enough for me and I dismissed it.
My Aunt Esther sent my dad a letter after David died. The following is an excerpt from her letter. She stated some people say that the victims of suicide are cowardly and selfish. Nothing could be further from the truth. They are self-centered because they are so overwhelmed with problems, but they are not selfish and they are not cowardly. In fact, they take their own lives because they feel they have nothing to contribute to those around them, that they have no right to breathe the air or eat the food that could be eaten by others, and that they should take their own lives because they have no right to live any more. They believe that their living hurts those around them and the only way to take away that hurt is to take away their own lives. Jesus said, "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for those precious to him." That is exactly what David was trying to do.As I read the last passage again, I could not help but begin to cry as I had come to realize several years ago that David’s death saved me on several occasions, one night in particular.
John 15:13 – Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for those precious to him.After much prayer and soul searching, I know in my heart David’s death was part of the Lord’s plan. The Lord knew of David’s troubles and decided it was time for David to return to the Lord’s Table and wait for all of us. David's death helped to save my life, and someday other than the few I have confided in, I may be able to tell that story.
Psalm 23:6 - Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I WILL dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
“He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”A young woman who had been suffering an ailment for 12 years is healed by barely touching the garment of Jesus Christ. Nothing more than her faith in the healing powers of Jesus Christ was needed to be healed.
Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.I read the following Passage I found online while researching articles related to losing faith:
“There are times in a Christian’s life, maybe because of hardships or disappointments that causes us to question God. We may ask God why did he allow this or that to happen. “Why God did you not help me when I needed it, or someone else needed it?” Some may lose faith so much that they allow Satan’s influence on the world to cause them to even doubt if God is really there.” ~ ttp://thechristianbible.wordpress.com/2009/01/11/losing-faith/
I believe in God as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." ~ C.S. Lewis
Life is full of bad days;
FAITH in the Lord says he will provide you with many good days.
38 years ago today, Lee David Harnish was brought into this world. Roughly, 20 months apart in age, he and I were almost inseparable growing up and acted like twins. Maybe part of that was that my mom felt the need to dress us identical, or maybe it was just and Asian thing.
1 John 2:9 – 10 ~ Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling.
David and I were born in Vietnam and came over to the states just after he was born. We started off on the island of Oahu and then migrated to the Big Island. David loved the islands but for me, I felt a longing for travel. I wanted to explore and not go in circles around the island.
My dad chose a supervisor position with his company in 1985. The only problem was that it was in California. At first, I did not want to move. I had good friends and was just going to be starting high school. The thought of High School in a new state was extremely scary. For David, moving to a new state from one that he truly loved was hard for him.
Once we got here, he never really felt in and always had a desire to go back. After moving to California, David and I grew apart. He was more of a rebellious kid who tended to be more popular.
When David got to High School, he and I were completely different from the two kids growing up in Hawaii. I cannot remember doing much with David while at school, let alone away from school.
When David was 15 years old, David and his best friend at the time decided to run away, stealing his friend’s grandmother’s car and leaving a note about driving off a cliff. The next call we received was that David, while driving the car, took a tree head on and was in a Coma in a hospital in Salinas. For the next 19 days, my parents were at his side for most of the time. Thanks to great friends like Manuel Dela Cruz who drove me back and forth countless times, I was able to spend time with him.
David came out of his coma and for the next 6 months, worked at his physical therapy and school. His goal was to walk across the stage with his class. David was determined and he in fact walked across the stage with his graduating class. I think when that happened, I felt he was all right.
David went on to San Jose State University, a 4-year college. Something I could not manage to do, get into a 4-year college. He completed his degree and became a Physical Therapist, something he aspired to do after his many hours with several Physical Therapists during his recovery.
The relationship between David and I grew further apart as he moved down to the San Jose area and we maybe saw him a couple times a year. Some of this was to my fault, as I did not make the effort to go and see him. David was dating a wonderful person who had a wonderful little girl. Our family fell in love with Catie and Serina. I cherish the times we all spent together and loved seeing the pictures of the three of them together.
Unexpectedly, David comes to me and tells me that he wants to become a Police Officer. I later learned from his roommate Kelly, that he always looked up to me and the career path I had chosen. Something he never told me.
The next two years, David and I became closer than we had in years. We were having lunch together, talking on the phone and talking about strategies for the hiring process. David was hired by Milpitas Police Department, we continued to grow closer as he and I would talk about the Academy.
David and I began snowboarding together. He wanted me to go skydiving with him, but because of work and family, I never got around to going with him.
David graduated from his academy and I have regret when that happened. I was a rule follower and did not have permission to wear my uniform to his graduation. I wish I had a picture of David and me in our uniforms. I was truly honored when he asked me to pin his badge on him.
David began his FTO program and began having problems. Part of the issues had to do with David, but I believe part of his problems had to do with and FTO that did not feel he “earned” his way into the career because he had a relative in Law Enforcement. For whatever reason, David, the perfectionist began to come down hard on himself.
David was eventually let go from the Field Training Program, but told me he was demoted from Police Officer to more of a Transport Officer. The next thing I knew, David was telling me he was going on vacation after completing his FTO Program. I thought it was weird and but did not think anything of it. David spent a week and a half in Hawaii a place I came to learn he loved very much and never wanted to leave.
David spent his 30th birthday with our family celebrating Madyson’s 1st birthday, which happened to fall on the 21st, a day after his. This was the last time I saw David.
The next part of the story will be told on the 30th of this month.
1 Peter 4:10 – 11 ~ “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever, Amen.”
Chorus: “Praise him under open skies, everything breathing praising God, in the company of all who love the King”.Mr. Jones told me he was a Christian and we talked about his life and how he got to where he was. Mr. Jones was a former Oakland Police Officer back in the 1960’s and had a change of heart after he and his partner had a gun pulled on them while talking to a suspicious person. He decided that there were special people who could do the job, but he felt he could no longer do it.
Luke 6:37 ~ “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven”
Stopped at the red light, looked out my window
I saw a cardboard sign said “Help this homeless widow”
Just above that sign was the face of a human
I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”
So I rolled down the window and I looked her in the eye
Oh how many times have I just passed her by
I gave her some money then I drove on through
in my own little world there’s
Population two, woah
2nd Verse – Matthew West – “My Own Little World”.